Message in a Dessert

When it is time to pop the question, it is important that you do so in a unique and exciting way. One terrific way to ask this amazingly important question is by writing those 4 simple words on a piece of dessert and having it served to her at a restaurant of your choosing. Hopefully, she will be so excited that she will have to say "yes."

Choose a restaurant

Pick a location with sentimental value. The place where you went on your first date, or your favorite local restaurant (preferably not McDonald's) would work well. Go to the restaurant ahead of time and ask to speak to the manager. Be specific with the manager about needing an intimate table for two and explain to him your proposal intentions so that he can be sure to take good care of you. Also, big tips help too. Do the initial contact well in advance, then plan a follow up meeting closer to the actual event.

Set up a meeting with the manager.
The following questions will need to be discussed at the meeting with the manager

Who would be the best waiter to tend to us on this special evening?
Where is the most intimate table, far away from distractions?
Would you as the manager, be willing to take pictures for us, either using my camera or if you would be more comfortable, using your own camera? If he/she is unwilling to be the photographer, you can hire one to sit at the next table and pull out the camera when the time is right.
I will be having flowers delivered to the restaurant prior to our arrival and would like them to be hidden until right after the proposal. Would you be the one to please bring them to the table?
Please be sure, as the manager, that you orchestrate the timing of the evening. It would be horrible if the dessert was served when she is in ladiesâ room. I expect you to pay attention to those sorts of details so I do not have to. Provide written instructions for the manager, so that your evening will go exactly as youâve planned it in your head. Itâs more difficult for him/her to mess up your plan if he/she has it in hand.

Time it right

Although it's romantic to propose on Valentine's Day, many other people might have the same idea, making your idea seem a little less thoughtful. Try proposing on a specific day of the month (like the "date" you met), or on her birthday, or on a Thursday (if you met on that day of the week). By choosing a less popular time to propose, you are more likely to have the full attention of the restaurant staff and therefore, there will be less opportunity for mishaps.

Choose a dessert

Hopefully you chose a restaurant that serves her favorite dessert, but it is always possible to bring the dessert with you too. You may have to be a little more creative if you choose to bring it with you, however. You will need to either go to the restaurant earlier in the day and deliver the dessert or find a way to hide it from her on the ride over. (which may prove to be awkward and difficult) Be sure to pick something that is large enough to write on, or something that can be served on a plate large enough to write on.

Some restaurants are very particular about only serving food which they have prepared so be sure to ask the restaurant prior to going to the trouble of purchasing a dessert from elsewhere.

Placement of the Ring

The ring could be placed in the dessert, on the plate, in your pocket, or it could be delivered by the waiter. Any of the above will work, but it is important that you choose which delivery method ahead of time. Do not give the waiter or manager the ring too early, however, to eliminate any chance of the ring being misplaced.

It is always an appreciated gesture for a man to get down on one knee to propose. If the ring is in your pocket, once the dessert has been served, simply slip out of your seat and onto your knee, take her hand and nod your head toward the dessert.

Plan ahead/Invite family and friends

The first thing a woman wants to do after she has received a proposal is to tell her friends and family. Have them there, so that she doesnât have to wait. Invite her most precious companions to dine at the same time, in a different part of the restaurant where they canât be seen during the meal or during a trip to the restroom.

Make sure that she is the type who enjoys public declarations of love. Everyone in the restaurant is likely going to notice what is going on, so be sure she likes to be the center of attention. (especially if you want her to say yes)

Last minute details

At the end of the meal one of the following things needs to happen:

The waiter needs to announce that the Chef will be preparing a complimentary dessert.
The man needs to order dessert for her (as long as that wouldn't be totally out of character for him, causing reason for suspicion.)
Allow her to order dessert (if you are sure she will not decline) and be sure the waiter knows to ignore her actual order and bring the message dessert instead.

Be sure of her answer

There would be nothing more devastating than to go to all this trouble just to have her say "Can I think about it?"
Sequence of events

Manager notifies other guests (family/friends) it's time.
Family/friends sneak to the kitchen (if it will just be the two of you omit 1 & 2)
The waiter, flower guy, and camera guy walk to the table followed by friends/family.
Dessert is placed in front of girl.
She says "yes"
Pictures are taken.
Friends and family rejoice.
Everyone is happy.

Want to make sure you get it all just right? Download our Message in a Dessert checklist.